It happens more than you might think. You have tried for your first time, or your third time, or for five days, or 10 months to meditate, and you think to yourself this is NOT working. Maybe you never got around to finishing (or starting) the meditation course you bought or subscribed to. Or maybe your life has changed dramatically since you first started meditation, or maybe life has just been busy, but you feel exactly the same as before you started meditating so there doesn't seem to be any point.
You go online to try to get some new ideas about your practice, but pretty soon you hit information overload. Eventually, you throw up your hands and head to a brick-and-mortar or online store for a new "program", but when you start to implement those ideas, they also don't work for your vision of what you want your spiritual life to look like.
Chances are, you haven't completely missed the mark. It's pretty easy to make meditation mistakes, and they're also easy to fix.
8 meditation faux pas that are easy to make, but that can be fixed:
1. Stinky, Sweaty, Disgusting:
Meditating after a workout can seem like the perfect time, especially since you are already likely on an adrenaline high. Unfortunately, it is hard to actually rest when we are aware of physical discomfort. It makes us feel less than blissful and more, frankly, unpleasant. Make sure to honor your practice and come into it in a way that your own body (plus your mat or meditation cushion) won't be a physical distraction. What helps is to meditate first thing in the morning to avoid this, when you are also at your most relaxed!
2. No good teacher (we're talking quality over quantity, selflessness, and engagement):
One of the most common faux pas is trying to DIY. Forget the idea that this is an easy mainstream concept, if YOU can't do it, you are going to get frustrated and give up. Find someone who will make sure you are making no mistakes and are getting the maximum effects
First, look for someone whose primary purpose is not to gather as many people as possible. Work with someone who is interested in your progress and not someone trying to teach 20 classes a day to make as much money as possible.
Next, give your energy to someone who appreciates your efforts and gives you credit as a student. A good teacher will appreciate and encourage you and not blame you for your mistakes. Good teachers acknowledge your dedication and frequently praise those who taught them!
Finally, never work with someone who doesn't engage you in the prrocess. Always look for direct communication and interactive activities.
3. If you don't understand the point, find out:
Too often we fall into the trap of thinking that something that is new to US is a fad. Learn about all the ways meditation has helped people for thousands of years to find peace, happiness, transformation, and more control over their lives. The point of meditation is to gain control over the most precious things you have: your mind and your soul and your relationship with God! (Is that too Christian for you? I know. Think of it as a lesson in open-mindedness.)
4. Judging yourself is not the answer:
You wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who constantly asked whether you were doing every single thing correctly or effectively, so why do you do it to yourself? Too often we spend an entire meditation session focusing on ourselves (see #1 above!) instead of focusing on being present and mindful. We think we have to get past all our doubts FIRST to grow in our practice, but in reality what we need to do is accept that the doubts are there, not engage with them, simply let them go by like cars on a train, choose not to get on that train, and instead bring our energy and attention and focus back to clearing our thoughts and being present to our own breathing. Be mindful, be judgment-free, and use each self-questioning thought as an opportunity to get to know yourself, your soul, better and better.
5. Emotions will always come back:
It's easy to get caught up in spiritual bypassing, but it's unrealistic to not connect to your emotions and to avoid including them in your practice. Make sure you are centered and grounded in your body (#1 again!), allow your practice to include emotions, and don't fall into the trap of believing that an "up and out of" body experience makes your practice more effective (actually, the opposite is true).
6. Falling Asleep:
The instinct is often to meditate when everything else for the day is "done" (i.e., at bed time), but then what a surprise that you close your eyes and soon fall asleep. Don't be mad at yourself, and instead remember that sleep is a healthy thing that your body, mind, and soul also need. View falling asleep as a positive thing, take it as a sign that your focus on relaxing is working, and meditate at a different time of day if you're looking for a different experience (#1 again, again!)
7. Time, time, time:
We love giving yourself some fluidity in your practice, but it takes focus to get into that special meditation state of mind. The right balance of giving yourself space, paired with making sure you actually are alloting enough time for the concentration you are going to need, will keep you from driving yourself crazy.
8. Hating distractions:
Minimizing distraction doesn't have to mean earplugs, door locks, and yelling at everyone to shut up. We get it, you're trying to meditate. Instead, realize things are going to bother you, observe distractions as they occur, and make them part of your practice: one of your challenges to yourself is to get better and better and not getting carried away by distractions. Embracing distractions is actually the path to feeling more laid back. There are even some famous meditation teachers who PAY someone to come into their meditation classes and be distracting (throat clearing, fidgeting, unwrapping noisy lozenges, etc.) as a way to train their students how to be more at peace no matter what is happening around them! #1 is important (what you can control about you), but you can never 100% control your environment, and neither can any of the most advanced meditators - what they have learned how to to do is to accept and be at peace with that.
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