TGIF: Certifiable Coach

Hooray!  I received my license and certification as a PAX coach this week.  Officially a coach.  Recognition.  Accreditation.  Partnership Nation.

Never mind that I have been coaching for more than five years.  Doesn't matter.  That's the old uncredentialed me.  No more strife and penance for coaching.  No more learning from mistakes - no more mistakes!  It's a soaring and joyous time for this coachess.

I am pulsing in this moment.  I am a COACH now.  I attend workshops at Esalen and go on super intense retreats at Our Lady of the Oaks.   I hug glowing, white-toothed motivational speakers.  I am sitting in full lotus on the cover of Garden & Gun magazine.  I am featured in meditation and prayer app ads.  I score organic cosmetics endorsement contracts.  My seminars are sprawling across the universe.  Everyone is perfectly spiritual, balanced, and readiant.  Everyone is going on partnership retreats.  I am a coaching star.  God has manifested my reality.  In this moment.  There is plenty of money, but it's not the point.  IHS my guide.

It's all sparking and actual and I'm certain to guarantee it ... to certify it ... some day just like I did today.

Deo Volente.

2021 - The Year of Maximalism - An Expressive and Vibrant Way of Living

 Maximalism.  What's with this new-old obsesssion?

With so many cookie-cutter and sterile, mass production places and items that surround us, it is no surprise that many people all over the world, who are spending more and more time in their homes, are yearing for a more personalized and creative way of life.  Meet Maximalism ... Go ahead and say goodbye to your white and gray farmhouse interiors!  Maximalism started in music in German speaking countries around 1890 as "a radical intensification of means toward accepted or traditional ends" but now embodies more a way of living and is moving into various art forms, including interior design where it has really taken hold in Britain.  It's an aesthetic of excess, the opposite of minimalism, a "more is more" way of enjoying the experience of your home.  

Picture contrasting prints, bold wallpapers, loads of various saturated hues, and not a reclaimed barn door in sight.  There is unforgettable extravagance and a full representation of who you are.  This is the embodiment of maximalism.  You are surrounded by the things you love, every corner of your home expresses your individuality, there's a sense of joyousness, you are expressing yourself.  So, what's not to love?

We are definitely getting down and LOVING this British obsession.  After all, we have always been a bit more keen on environments that powerfully mix different styles, include saturated tones, and embrace the knick-knacks over those that scream "I am stiff and  bleak and also just like every other neutral-palette midcentury modern home you've seen over the past 10 years!"

So how do you get your life more in line with maximalism?  Here are a few interior design tips that can help get you there!

Generous Color

While color (or the absence of it) is everything when it comes to all your other interior design choices, color in maximalism is key.  Think of a wall of ugly, terrible art that you have to have because it brings you joy, a hardwood floor, a velvet couch, a visually busy space, Florence + the Machine and Kate Bush on at high volume.  Now, are those walls and that couch and that floor and that art white or gray or raw wood?  No, you're thinking black walls, mismatched jewel toned seating, accent pillows with a distinct pattern that intentionally clashes with everything else.  That is the basis of maximalism: bold, loads of hues, colorful patterns.  Bold furniture that makes a statement with luxurious metallic finishes, somewhere a bright red shade (maybe in a powerfully different style of rug on that wood floor), floral print curtains bursting in shades of pink, rows of shelves with books in a rainbow of colors.  Telling your own story by displaying something from every place you've ever been, without being afraid of verging on kitsch, is a great way to add color!

Layering Patterns

Contrasting ornaments, highly detailed wallpapers (maybe a different one on each wall), anything Victorian.  The more of your favorite fabrics you can bring into the space and the fewer matched sets of furniture you can use, the better.  Get rid of the Scandinavian furniture and replace it with something abstract.  Replace the sleek futuristic (and eerie) soft lighting table lamps with something garish in a pattern with an accelerated rhythm, and opt for more drapery, bright and playful paintings, and side tables stacked with some of your favorite books.   Think funky throw pillows, patterned rugs, big framed photographs, a home completely full of plants, and mixed concepts of good and bad taste.  You get the point.  Create visual depth by using happy patterns.

Walls Of Art

When it comes to design, you don't want your spaces telling you a story: you want to be the storyteller.  Lean into gallery walls and treasured collections of photos on the walls - things that you would see in a vintage enthusiast's home.  If you look at a wall and it's not bright and loud, or it looks like something hypertrendy or mass-produced, steer clear.  You're aiming for a mix of high and low brands that is all about adornment and eccentricity.  Maximalist gallery walls can be tricky, so forget everything you've ever been told about coordinating frames, colors, styles, or subjects.  Don't pay excessive amounts of money for your gallery wall - instead, display family heirlooms.  Do not pick art that is simple in style or install a smooth simple backsplash behind your stove (go for colorful patterned tiles instead!).  The more liberated the imagination, the better, but if you need some rules on how to do this, decide on a uniform measurement between each item on the wall, and use that as your guide - the uniform spacing will hold together a random collection of jus about anything.  Just don't do the thing where you deliberately hang a couple of perfectly simple pieces of graphic art or you will be going the opposite way into minimalism.

Reusing Everything

Maximalism focuses on a powerful mix of different times (including the return of the 80s) and  the enjoyment of experiencing the space and allowing materials themselves to be the ornament.  How does this translate into how you curate your home?  Well, not only do we want things to be bold and speak volumes about our personality, but we want there to be a sustainability about our things too, and maximalism is actually very anti-consumerist.  So use or buy second-hand something in cheetah print and figure out a way to make it work for you instead of putting everything you own into a landfill and breaking the bank trying to duplicate the austere (and lifeless ... and boring!) home some celebrity lives in.  By surrounding yourself with iconic and charming staples from a bygone time, you also open yourself up to different cultural ideas about what is beautiful and can appreciate that the impossible reductive modernism of white Europeans is not the only answer to all aesthetic problems.  Be sure your home has signs of life, that it is possible to live in, and don't hold onto anything that brings up negative feelings or bad memories.  But remember that only the ultra-wealthy can truly afford those bleak minimalist homes, and they too are aspirational and deluxe and part of the consumerist culture.  (Did you know Marie Kondo, after she urges you to get rid of a large percentage of your stuff, then wants you to buy her stuff to replace it?)  Finding the right balance between maximalist decor and putting out everything (which can tip into clutter) can be tricky.  That is where we as professional organizers can come in and provide you helpful tips on how to declutter, something we will post about soon.

So go ahead!  Give maximalism a try and see how a few alterations to your space can bring some joy into your daily life!

Moments of Gratitude 2

 Remembering that when I count the moments of gratitude, the moments of gratitude count more:

1.  Putting a puzzle with beautiful dragonflies in my Amazon cart.  I love puzzles, and I love dragonflies, and I'm grateful in advance for the moments spent doing this puzzle!

2.  My feet in natural water (not a swimming pool) for the first time in almost a year.  Big stretch of my comfort zone to put my feet in the water in February!

3.  The pleasure of finding an awesome, reliable, sweet, and kind place for my dogs to go for a staycation - they will play with them, snuggle with them, take them as they are, and see them "as part of our pack"!

4.  Another item in my Amazon cart: swim noodles for the summer, and grateful in advance for the moments when I will have my friends over to my pool this summer and we will laugh like crazy.  Remembering how grateful I am to be able to slip into my pool when the sun's rays get too hot in the summer.

5.  Grateful for the future hugs endless hugs I will get from my soul mate when I pick him up at the airport.

6.  The joy of my future child's giggle and the pleasure we will have horsing around.

7.  Pure confidence from being on a path filled with light and joy and forward movement, KNOWING that I'm on the right path, KNOWING I'm on it FOR GOOD.

8.  Setting clear boundaries by letting someone know that I didn't want to talk about a man I used to date (even though I did have to ask more than once, I remained calm and clear and confident, so it was a double victory).  Why should we talk about things we don't want to talk about unless we are going to gain something from it (like spiritual growth)?

9.  The fluidity and joy of being able to choose where my energy goes in any given moment.  Bliss from bringing it back to the here and now and my highest priority, even if in that moment it is just some boring task I have decided to attend to.

10.  Realizing I have REALLY stepped into my expanded identity of taking care of myself.  Almost one week of no sweets!  Hydrating.  Trying to alkalize.  Eating when hungry and making sure every meal or snack includes at least one fruit or vegetable.  Not allowing myself to get too hungry.  Remembering my body is a miracle from God (is that too ... something for you?  Another opportunity for you to practice your open-mindedness ;)) and LISTENING to my body and honoring it.

11.  Reconnecting with how in love I am with yoga by trying out different YouTube videos and sequences from my yoga books and websites and ordering a series from Hillary Rubin and Wai Lana's Flexibility DVD.  Our bodies are AMAZING and all they need is the right combination of discipline and love.  The joy of an asana that at first seemed impossible and now just gets deeper and deeper.

12.  Getting closer and closer to 165 on the scale, which I know I will see again soon.  😎

13.  Appreciating that the coaching certifications I am currently working on and the ones I am considering investing in next are exactly the right fit for me.  I have been "unofficially" coaching for so long now, and I have wondered about how much exactly I can learn from these different programs.  Wow, have I been wrong, and what a great investment they have been.  Not everything in every program has been earth-shattering, but some of it really is brand new, and I tremendously respect the people I have learned from.  And I LOVE getting opportunities to practice teaching and coaching!  (In fact, if you're reading this and are interested, there are some things I am teaching and coaching on right now complimentary or at a deeply discounted rate!)  PLUS I am really finding my own voice and am getting very clear on the direction I want to take my practice and my business and my brand.  No, I don't want to be "another life coach" ... I have so much personal experience and have learned so much from so many different approaches that I KNOW what I am offering is unique.

14.  My intuition and clarity about men I am meeting on Match.  The ability to NOT make it an obsessive quest or an intellectual project or a quest for The Ideal Man, and instead knowing that I can turn it over to God and the Saints and Angels and they will lead me to the right places to put my attention - and keep me away from the WRONG places.

15.  Taking the time to write this, pretty late at night after a long day.  I am not a writer unless I write, and saying I am a writer makes me smile!  And practicing the art of "writing for the trashcan" - it doesn't have to be perfect, especially when it's just about getting down on paper what I am grateful for today.

Drop Back

I like to read several books at once, and among those I am currently reading are The Discernment of Spirits (an Ignatian guide for everyday living by Fr. Timothy Gallagher about St. Ignatius of Loyola's Rules), Introduction to the Devout Life  (a compliation of letters and notes St. Francis de Sales use d in the spiritual direction of his cousin), and Iyengar: The Yoga Master (a book of essays compiled by his student and devotee, Kofi Busia).  All of them offer fantastic insights into people of great spirituality.  One of the essays about Iyengar points out that he practiced dropping back from standing into back bends almost until the time of his death at the age of 95 (just a few years ago).  It was a weekly practice for him.  My body currently cannot drop into a back bend, assisted or unassisted.  However, I can do a headstand, and it is incredible to me that I can do this.  Headstands were something I worked on for MONTHS, and the moment I finally kicked up into one was one of the most moving moments in my life - simultaneously exhilirating and frightening.  Admittedly, I have not (yet) done one in the middle of the room on a yoga mat (or anywhere on a hard surface).  So now, one of the things I'm working on is getting the guts to do it somewhere other than on a cushioned mat surface.  On my Amazon wish list is a headstand chair, so that I can safely kick up at home on a more regular basis to build up that confidence to do it in the middle of a room during class.  Probably the first time I try that, I will fall right out of it.  That's okay - one of the things you learn when practicing some of the more delicate (and aerial) yoga poses is how to fall safely.  Still scary, especially when you're inverted, to feel that momentary loss of control, but that's one of the lessons yoga teaches us about life.  We aren't in control, and one of the ways Babe Ruth made so many home runs is that he kept getting up to bat (he actually struck out more times than he made a hit, but that's not what we remember about him, is it?)  When, on one of those attempts, you actually land a full expression of a pose, glory be, it is one of the most beautiful experiences.  Your entire being doesn't DO the asana, you ARE the asana ... and it's a cool thing to BE!

Inspired by Iyengar and the life stories of St. Francis de Sales and St. Ignatius Loyola (both of whom gave up positions of great pride and worldly honor for their faith and both of whom suffered their own physical torments), I am now making the goal of dropping back part of my practice.  I have never done it, and it is very scary.  Truth be told, I have not previously allowed myself to set that goal, thinking of it as only for the perfect Instagrammable bodies.  Only for those who were maybe super-talented gymnasts as young girls.  Somehow I have never felt worthy or something.  But I am giving myself permission now to think "maybe" and I know that, with enough work, that will turn into "I WILL drop back".  It's probably going to take five years of regular asana practice for me to get there.  That is the fruit of patience and practice.  So I am grateful now for the joy that I will feel then.

As far as my regular practice, I am currently playing with Anusara yoga, but I have the highest regard for B.K.S. Iyengar and his ability to combine in yoga what we call will, knowledge, and action.  My practice will now every week include a committed time to working on opening my heart and spirit into becoming a back bend.

Luceat Lux Vestra.  Luctor et Emergo.

Five Spring Gardening Trends We Can't Live Without

At Make Space, we aim to create lasting gardens that are classic and don't need to be revamped year after year.  Having said that, we love occasionally changing things up!  This year's spring trends are Fab. U. Lous.  Consider how some of these new trends could jazz up your classic garden.

Balconies

We are starting to see balcony gardens more frequently in new gardens.  Originally, "city dwellers" used balcony gardens to create green spaces when their sapce was limited.  In any home, however, a back patio or balcony can add a green haven in a beautiful way.  Whether you're growing your own food or just like growing things in pots, this gardening tactic is sure to draw attention.

Food

Food is the ultimate reason to plant a garden at the end of the winter.  Growing vegetables for your local food pantry is a way to help your community in a modern way.

New Plants

Towards the end of winter, we are ALL dreaming about our new beach bodies and warm weather wardrobes.  Why not add the same excitement to your back yard?  Add some new plant cultivars to your flower bed, maybe some brand-new extensions of existing plant lines, to add some never-seen-before characteristics and add the lushness of a brand new spring season.

Rooms

You could have a living room, or you could be outdoors, OR you can have an outdoor living room.  Outdoor furniture creates interest, but container gardens bring you into the scenery itself.  You could regret not being able to go to outdoor concerts for a while OR you can create a rooftop bar lounging feel in your own backyard.  You could walk down a paved pathway on your property OR you can plant shrubs and trees to create some cozy boundaries.  There is nothing wrong with classic yards, but sometimes it's nice to bring indoor comforts outside, maybe by planting shade trees that create a cozy space to sip lemonade under (or however else you'd like to extend your living space into your backyard).  

Online

No, you're not engaged in a visioning exercise, you're not scrolling Instagram, and I'm not talking about creating a Pinterest page.  The wonderful idea here is having plants delivered.  Shopping online became huge during confinement, and you can use it to add warmth and color to your classic gardens.  Think not just gardening supplies and seed sales but actual live plants.  There are endless options when it comes to houseplants, food, and mini-plants, so kick the traditional perception of gardening being only for some people.  And!  If you decide to go big and order plants online, you'll find that the options are increasing everyday, it's just as easy to ship a plant as a vase, and plants make great gifts.

That's a win-win!

Moments of Gratitude

Remembering that when I count the moments of gratitude, the moments of gratitude count more (and that when I am grateful now for things I want in my life in the future, I help to co-create those things into existence), here are some from the last few days:

1.  Tamale and Petunia (my sweet dogs) getting their teeth cleaning appointments made (and for having both the time and the money to make this happen; Tamale will also have X-rays while she is under, as she seems to be having some pain issues in her lower back).  Grateful in advance for the news that they are both OKAY!

2.  Blogging!  This is FUN, y'all.  I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but it's such a commitment on my part to my new expanded identity.  It has been much easier and more fulfilling than I thought it would.  I'm addicted to something great!

3.  Walking further and further each time on my training walks!  Oh my miraculous body (and how thankful I am to God for it, no apologies if that is too New Age for you) ... how fast it's learning!

4.  Grateful in advance for the child I have always wanted and that I am praying God to somehow bring me and for the moments snugglehugging that child while listening to him/her talk about some kid thing that is important in kid world.

5.  Starting to build a workshop on Expanded Identity.  Teaching the workshop to an audience will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm allowing myself to nevertheless enjoy the process.  Getting the idea to introduce the workshop this spring or summer at Sacred Circle.

6.  Grateful in advance for an outing I am planning to Burke Lake this spring when the weather warms up with a couple of girlfriends and maybe some others who want to join ... picnic and beach volleyball which I am terrible at so there will be lots of awkwardness and falling ... and laughing so hard it is going to hurt!

agapepod

My iPod consistently and dependably serves me spiritual teachings.  Because so much of life in Alexandria currently lacks in-person gatherings, I do have a dedicated home practice.  But sometimes it's too much of a challenge to conjure up the inner priest for a full luscious home meditation/prayer session.  (Yes, I pray to what you might think of as The Great Creator.)  On my iPod (affectionately named CatholiPod) one of the genres is "Prayer Practice".  I can always get my fix of star teachers and theologians and their live "unplugged" devoctions.  It's pretty cool.  Mind you, this is no substitute for the "real thing", but I'm grateful for my "imaginary friends Ekklesia".  In the last year since focusing primarily on Carmelite prayer, I benefit greatly from a Catholic podcast called The Daily Disconnect, which ROCKS.  Almost as good as being on Mount Carmel or in Rome.  BIG gratitude for the work they are doing.

Today I dropped Dad at the airport and reflected that my last time in an airport as a passenger was in 2019 for my 30th high school reunion in New England.  My next time may be later this year to New Orleans for Jazz Festing.

Nevertheless, I am used to being on the road and the CatholiPod certainly provides a sanctuary, even in the present day total panic that airports have become.  And I will continue my search for my Rabbouni  in the not so obvious places.