Meditation Faux Pas - Easy to Make, Easy to Fix

It happens more than you might think.  You have tried for your first time, or your third time, or for five days, or 10 months to meditate, and you think to yourself this is NOT working.  Maybe you never got around to finishing (or starting) the meditation course you bought or subscribed to.  Or maybe your life has changed dramatically since you first started meditation, or maybe life has just been busy, but you feel exactly the same as before you started meditating so there doesn't seem to be any point.

You go online to try to get some new ideas about your practice, but pretty soon you hit information overload.  Eventually, you throw up your hands and head to a brick-and-mortar or online store for a new "program", but when you start to implement those ideas, they also don't work for your vision of what you want your spiritual life to look like.

Chances are, you haven't completely missed the mark.  It's pretty easy to make meditation mistakes, and they're also easy to fix.

8 meditation faux pas that are easy to make, but that can be fixed:

1.  Stinky, Sweaty, Disgusting:

Meditating after a workout can seem like the perfect time, especially since you are already likely on an adrenaline high.  Unfortunately, it is hard to actually rest when we are aware of physical discomfort.  It makes us feel less than blissful and more, frankly, unpleasant.  Make sure to honor your practice and come into it in a way that your own body (plus your mat or meditation cushion) won't be a physical distraction.  What helps is to meditate first thing in the morning to avoid this, when you are also at your most relaxed!

2.  No good teacher (we're talking quality over quantity, selflessness, and engagement):

One of the most common faux pas is trying to DIY.  Forget the idea that this is an easy mainstream concept, if YOU can't do it, you are going to get frustrated and give up.  Find someone who will make sure you are making no mistakes and are getting the maximum effects

First, look for someone whose primary purpose is not to gather as many people as possible.  Work with someone who is interested in your progress and not someone trying to teach 20 classes a day to make as much money as possible.

Next, give your energy to someone who appreciates your efforts and gives you credit as a student.  A good teacher will appreciate and encourage you and not blame you for your mistakes.  Good teachers acknowledge your dedication and frequently praise those who taught them!

Finally, never work with someone who doesn't engage you in the prrocess.  Always look for direct communication and interactive activities.

3.  If you don't understand the point, find out:

Too often we fall into the trap of thinking that something that is new to US is a fad.  Learn about all the ways meditation has helped people for thousands of years to find peace, happiness, transformation, and more control over their lives.  The point of meditation is to gain control over the most precious things you have: your mind and your soul and your relationship with God!  (Is that too Christian for you?  I know.  Think of it as a lesson in open-mindedness.)

4.  Judging yourself is not the answer:

You wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who constantly asked whether you were doing every single thing correctly or effectively, so why do you do it to yourself?  Too often we spend an entire meditation session focusing on ourselves (see #1 above!) instead of focusing on being present and mindful.  We think we have to get past all our doubts FIRST to grow in our practice, but in reality what we need to do is accept that the doubts are there, not engage with them, simply let them go by like cars on a train, choose not to get on that train, and instead bring our energy and attention and focus back to clearing our thoughts and being present to our own breathing.  Be mindful, be judgment-free, and use each self-questioning thought as an opportunity to get to know yourself, your soul, better and better.

5. Emotions will always come back:

It's easy to get caught up in spiritual bypassing, but it's unrealistic to not connect to your emotions and to avoid including them in your practice.  Make sure you are centered and grounded in your body (#1 again!), allow your practice to include emotions, and don't fall into the trap of believing that an "up and out of" body experience makes your practice more effective (actually, the opposite is true).

6.  Falling Asleep:

The instinct is often to meditate when everything else for the day is "done" (i.e., at bed time), but then what a surprise that you close your eyes and soon fall asleep.  Don't be mad at yourself, and instead remember that sleep is a healthy thing that your body, mind, and soul also need.  View falling asleep as a positive thing, take it as a sign that your focus on relaxing is working, and meditate at a different time of day if you're looking for a different experience (#1 again, again!)

7.  Time, time, time:

We love giving yourself some fluidity in your practice, but it takes focus to get into that special meditation state of mind.  The right balance of giving yourself space, paired with making sure you actually are alloting enough time for the concentration you are going to need, will keep you from driving yourself crazy.

8.  Hating distractions:

Minimizing distraction doesn't have to mean earplugs, door locks, and yelling at everyone to shut up.  We get it, you're trying to meditate.  Instead, realize things are going to bother you, observe distractions as they occur, and make them part of your practice: one of your challenges to yourself is to get better and better and not getting carried away by distractions.  Embracing distractions is actually the path to feeling more laid back.  There are even some famous meditation teachers who PAY someone to come into their meditation classes and be distracting (throat clearing, fidgeting, unwrapping noisy lozenges, etc.) as a way to train their students how to be more at peace no matter what is happening around them!  #1 is important (what you can control about you), but you can never 100% control your environment, and neither can any of the most advanced meditators - what they have learned how to to do is to accept and be at peace with that.

Expanding My Identity: Joining The 3 Day

Those who know me know I am not a big exerciser.  Er.  I haven't been a big exerciser, but I have set a goal to complete The 3 Day this year, so I have become one.  That's what's great about developing focus.  You just decide on a new aspect of your identity, and then act as that new identity.  God, or the Great Creator (sure, some Native American god, whatever works for you) sends us sources and events that allow us to become a better expression of who we were created to be, and we just have to be paying attention in order to notice them ... it is often like a gentle alarm clock that starts off faintly and gradually becomes more insistent until we sit up and take notice.  And then, before you know it, you're in connection with the flow of good orderly direction, heading toward grace! 

I have a bad knee from injuries many years ago and recently started to have some stress-related joint issues in my big toe at a job I was not loving.  The toe was excruciating really, and the knee can be at times.  Truth be told, I'd prefer not to go into the specifics, because it brings me back to some emotions I'd really rather not have: mostly fear (Oh my word, I can't stand, I can't even think about anything else because the pain is fogging my mind ... am I permanently disabled?  Who is going to care for my aging father?  For Petunia and Tamale (my dogs)?  Am I going to pass out?  No, but maybe burst into tears ... :)  pain, embarrassment (although some people I worked with were incredibly kind, I thought I might be getting gout and would be judged for somehow bringing this on myself, that I might lose my independence - this is a time when my grief over not having a life partner can really reach up and grab me).  But it led to this great gift, this opportunity to rethink my identity around health and vitality.  Here's the story.

Well, I left that unhappy job last week and suddenly have had time for conscious movement as often as I would like.  All at once, I have been moving again on my own terms because I could, and I have remembered that I love it!  Warm-ups on the treadmill, yoga and balance exercises, tons of movement to train my brain and my body to remember how to communicate again.  I love moving, paying attention to my body, having the freedom to discipline myself every day, and the blessing of my yoga teacher training and some great podcasts to tell me exactly what I need to do to get healthy again.

As I have begun paying attention to my body (and not the unhelpful and superficial and ego-driven attention I was giving it when certain clothing items didn't fit the way I would like them to), I have started thinking about what I can do with it that will give me a GOAL (I do well with specific, time-sensitive goals with some sort of external accountability) and more JOY in my life - the kind of joy that comes from doing something new and having fun while doing it.

Then I remembered that I always wanted to do a challenging physical event that would really push my body, and I realized that taking that goal on now sounded fun.  Some of the events have been cancelled or indefinitely postponed because of the pandemic, but not all of them, and somehow without my even realizing it, I just had a feeling that I should revist doing something I had always wanted to do, and I went to the website to check, and sure enough The 3 Day is happening later this year, with one location very near where Dad lives.  Hmmm, that sounded interesting, and it's only walking so that doesn't sound too intimidating.  A 60-mile walk over the course of three days.  Raises funds for Komen for the Cure and promotes awareness to fight breast cancer (my mother died from breast cancer eight years ago).  I was intrigued.  Here is an alarm clock going off.  Time to do a little research.

First, is this something I want to train for with other friends who are not big exercisers?  I am a bit intimidated to join a group that already has done this event before ... they will be faster, stronger, more flexible - everything I would like to be in my body but am not yet.  So I may ask a couple of girlfriends.  But I have a feeling one of them is going to decline, as she is currently facing the likelihood of a total hip replacement and committing to three days of walking six months from now is probably not in the cards for her, regardless of whether she is pre- or post-surgery at that point.  LOL, right?!  The other is likely not going to want to travel to New England for The 3 Day.

For now, I have decided to dive into the pool alone.

As I'm contemplating that, I have tackled the next order of business ... would my body be ready?

I've done research on The 3 Days's website and other places, and all the news is yes!  Six months is plenty of time to do the recommended training plan.

So I am commiting: one of my three main goals for the next three months is to get in the best shape of my life, and I'm looking forward to hopefully working with a life coach who can give me some homework in this area.  One thing I've done to get myself started is to listen to Louise Hay's Atmospheres and Affirmations.  Man, people like her and Tony Robbins amaze me!  It's not always about hearing something new and earth-shattering (although sometimes I do), it's hearing from people who say things in a certain way ... totally confident, totally centered, totally in divine flow.  I'm listening and doing exercises on who I WAS and who I am now choosing to be, and it's becoming clear.  My expanded identity includes being fast, strong, flexible, and balanced ... and registering for The 3 Day is the perfect way to step into this new identity.

And I've begen the training process.  3 miles one day, day of rest, 3 miles one day, day of rest ... then 30 minutes cross training.  Then 3 miles the next day, 3 miles the day after that.  The next week is the same, except one day goes up to 4 miles.  Week after is the same, except one day is 4 miles and another day is 5 miles.  On the off days, I am going to try the elliptical, and I'm also doing daily yoga and calisthenics.  Regardless of where I am on the walking training, I'm really going to hold myself accountable to daily yoga.  The training plan is 24 weeks long, and I'm 26 weeks out, so I will need to buckle down soon.  Got the training plan on my phone and yoga podcasts all downloaded.

Yes, I've got tons of motivational playlists from Hay House and others to keep my brain busy while I work out!

I am thrilled to say, "I am now a big exerciser!"

Can't yet tell you that I love exercising, though I'm hoping that will come, but I can tell you I LOVE the feeling after.  There is nothing like the sweaty, slighty sore, incredibly powerful, slightly looser feeling after you have stretched your body just past the edge of its limits, with a mind and soul now able to imagine new possibilities.

Adam's Ale

The following is an excerpt from http://www.blessedearth.org/blogs/why-i-dont-drink-bottled-water/  Blessed Earth is an educational nonprofit inspiring faithful stewardship of all creation and is motivated by the biblical mandate to care for God’s creation.

During my sophomore year of college, I spent four months studying in France.  I had to make many language and cultural adjustments, but one of the biggest surprises was the general lack of public water fountains.  As I journeyed across Europe on weekends and vacations, I learned the necessity of carrying a bottle of water.  Back home in the U.S., more people than ever are buying bottled water.  Even in these difficult economic times, Americans purchase 500 million bottles of water every week!  And this is despite the fact that we have near universal access to clean water in the United States (a blessing not afforded to more than a billion of our global neighbors). So why exactly is bottled water so bad?  Here are just a few of the many reasons to avoid purchasing bottled water:

• Bottled water costs around 2,000 times more than tap water.  As Annie Leonard of www.storyofstuff.com points out, that’s like paying $10,000 for a sandwich

• Much of the bottled water on the market today (including Pepsi’s Aquafina and Coca-Cola’s Dasani) is nothing more than filtered tap water

• 2.5 million plastic bottles are thrown into the landfill every hour

• Studies have shown that bottled water is no healthier than tap water in the U.S.

• Over 47 million gallons of oil are used per year to produce bottled water

• Currently only 10% – 20% of water bottles are recycled

• Manufacturers must use an additional 5 liters of water to produce 1 liter of bottled water

My lesson learned traveling the trains of Europe has stuck with me.  Anytime our family leaves the house for more than an hour we bring a reusable water bottle (or two or three) with us.  When eating out we use our own water bottles when possible, and ask for tap water in nice restaurants where pulling out our Nalgenes might be frowned upon.  If we forget, we try to use water fountains.  If you want to filter your water, keep a pitcher in the frig and refill it frequently.  While it may seem like a small matter whether your family uses tap vs. bottled water, remember this—using tap water both saves money and helps take care of God’s creation.

OK, I don’t know about you, but some of the recently mega-publicized info about the negative effects of bottled water has me consumed with doubt, fear, anxiety, and anger.  Like probably most of you, I have spent my adult life drinking as much water as possible in the interests of health.  My commitment goes in waves, but I do my best.  About two years ago, I bought a S'Well, and  I have been trying to use it in place of purcashing bottled water.  And, as we all know – 8 glasses a day or else death by dehydration or a supposed laundry list of other negative side effects. But I've been following the news on how many municipalities around the world have been proposing and even enacting bottled water bans.  It seems like the news about resource wastage, transportation emissions, and plastic litter is old news now, but it is still very upsetting if you pay attention to it.

I’m in Alexandria VA where the water is clean, and I drink it out of the tap (well actually out of the filtered and chilled water dispenser on my refrigerator).  And I drink a LOT of water.  What's really concerning is that here we are, supposedly doing that for our health, but there is ongoing concern about the use of plastics in consumer food packaging solutions, not just about the environmental impact of the disposal of these products, but concerns about consumer safety.  The simple fact is that I need to drink water all day or I don’t feel optimally well.  And when I have ended up with a plastic water bottle (gifted at an event or included with a meal or purchased out of desperation when I forgot my refillable bottle), I have always tried to reuse those bottles by refilling them over and over again, in an effort to be as green as possible.  

Then whammo!  Here comes the news that, not only am I paying the equivalent of $10,000 for a sandwich for each of these bottles, but toxins leaching from plastics might be related to disorders in humans such as infertility and cancer.  Now, every time I take a sip of water these words drift like clouds across my vision … leaching styrene di-2-ehtylhexyl phthalate endocrine disruptor human carcinogen.

Am I exaggerating?  If I'm not - the damage is already done to the environment, to me, and to all of my organs - even more outrageous when in many cases I have just been drinking filtered tap water from another city that has been put into this poisonous container and then sold to me at an outrageous price!  Yes, it has only been a year since scientists were able to use advance laser spectroscopy to analyze water bottles made of polystyrene and polycarbonate for contamination, but that doesn't mean the contamination is only a year old - we are just now able to identify what has been poisoning us for the last generation.  I'm QUITE SURE these and other chemicals will be "exposed" in a future issue of a respected scientific journal that will be terrifying.

WHAT IN THE SAM HILL?!?!?

Here's a brilliant idea.  Should we just stop drinking water and switch to whiskey (which comes from uisce beatha, Irish for water of life) or forget Adam's Ale and just drink ale?  Seems safer than a sip of water right now.  Idiocracy - a science fiction comedy about the future where they all almost starve because they use sports drinks instead of water for everything, including watering their crops ... or are we living that now, ingesting the toxic elements aluminum and cyanide which are found in trace amounts in plastic water bottles and throwing millions of these toxic plastic bottles into landfills every hour?

But seriously – this is when yoga and meditation and faith save me.  Because whiskey is not actually life-giving and ale, while delicious, but was not given to Adam by God.  And we can't stop drinking water.

What to do?  How to solve this problem?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Lord God Almighty, clear my mind as my thoughts run rampant in my head.  Let me meditate that I may facilitate forgiveness, let go of rumination, and reduce negative emotions.  May I allow yoga to clear the mind.  

This is all I can do.

As always, it comes back to consciously making time in my life for God's divine grace.

A Professional Organizer Will Be Your New Best Friend: Her Words, Not Mine

 "When I got married, bought my first house, had a child, and started my own business, I never in a million years thought I would hire a professional organizer."

"Victoria" (name changed to protect her privacy) was 27 when she started her own business and 29 when she closed on her house.  She went into both projects with tons of energy, and started binders and vision boards about "Success on a Shoestring" and "Organizing on a Budget".  

This successful woman wanted people to walk into her home, where her business office and studio were also located, and think to themselves, "Wow, how orderly."  And she had collected magazine articles, books, blog entries, you name it, on DIY interior design projects, crafty wall organization tools, and arranging systems.  It was all cute, but there was nothing cohesive.  Victoria couldn't decide on one sorting method, so she collected information about all the possibilities out there.

Then more than 10 years later, the time came to open a separate brick-and-mortar store for her business.  Movers were arriving with boxes to pack up the necessary parts of her studio to move to the store, and as she went in there to prepare for the move, she realized what she had in there: a hodgepodge of hand-me-down and thrift-store shelving units, some sad filing boxes that were in some cases taped together and bulging with all kinds of unfiled paperwork, and several very expensive designer items lying in heaps on the floor mixed in with business tools and supplies.  None of it looked anything like her vision boards or any of the articles she had so carefully collected.  Victoria looked around tried to think about how to begin to prepare to move necessary items to her new store, and all she could think was, "Well, hot damn."

"I remember walking into my friend Beatrice's [another pseudonym] business and feeling downright angry and embarrassed!  Butter my butt and call me a biscuit!  How did she do it?!?  My first reaction was wow, how sorted and professional.  That's when she told me about Make Space for Grace's organizing services."  

It wasn't long before I received a call from Victoria.  She said she was urgently in need of help.  What she was feeling was overwhelmed and also a tremendous amount of shame.  Within hours, we had completed an initial FaceTime interview, assessed Victoria's needs and the results she was trying to produce, and given her a quote that was in line with her "Organizing on a Budget" vision (that we converted from a vision to a plan).

"Talking with Amanda, the lead organizer on Make Space for Grace's team, was such a relief.  Before the call, I was mortified about my lack of systemization and utter confusion about where to even start.  I KNEW I needed help.  Amanda made me feel so supported during our conversation - I called my husband right after our conversation and said, 'I think Amanda's my new best friend.  She is going to sort out the studio and the house!  And I can't get over how easy it was.' "

We have said it before, and we will keep saying it!  Professional organizing is easy, affordable, and available to EVERYONE!

Not everyone has a knack for marshalling items into order.  And not everyone can seamlessly work with your budget and what you have and solve the disorganization problems in your life while making the result both practical and visually appealing.  That's okay!  We make it easy, and we work with a variety of budgets so that everyone, no matter their age, stage or life, or personal skills can have the organized spaces of their dreams (even if they don't have a clear vision of what that dream looks like).

A New Starting Point

This part of my journey begins as I enter the second half of my life - althought it actually began a few weeks ago, on Monday January 25, when I reached out to a dear friend and wonderful coach, Candy Wright.  I am officially starting a new chapter!  It's been so long since I was in a relationship that felt wright, my body doesn't feel healthy and strong, I just in the last week left a job that overwhelmed me with stress on a daily basis, my financial picture isn't clear, there is sadness in my life from never having achieved my heart and soul's desire of having a child (I have never married), I finally have a good relationship with my father but he is very strong-willed, I have 2 beautiful dogs but of course I am their sole caregiver, I have been losing sight of my spiritual life, and overall I have had a serious lack of balance and peace.  Truth be told, I have never really felt that I have followed a passion of my own in life (I spent most of my adult life working at a terrific sounding but ultimately soul crushing and uninspiring corporate career), and it is time for me to start my own business for real this time, so, gulp, here I go.

Gardening Out Of The Dirt or The Anticipation Factor

It is one day into the new year and about 2 months since I graduated from Master Gardening School.  Technically, I am currently a Master Gardener Intern and will not be certified until I complete a research project and volunteer hours.  Graduation vs. certification is a discussion for another time.

Most of us, when we talk about gardening, we talk about things that are happening in the actual dirt of your actual garden, but time spent out of the dirt is equally important.  More on the specifics of that in a moment - stay with me here.

My day job is in a restaurant, and I recently was promoted into a management position, and one of the perks of my new role is that I receive a complimentary meal every time I work.

So yesterday and today I worked during the day and when my shift ended I ordered a dish I had been wanting to try and ate it at the bar with a glass of wine.  This is not the cleanest eating habit, true.  But these were two dishes I had been wanting to try for a while, and it felt like a real treat to enjoy something delicious and indulgent, especially after a VERY busy holiday season in the restaurant business and to toast myself on my promotion.   So .. what can make delicious food taste even better?

I sat at the end of the bar by myself.  Yesterday I had broiled Virginia trout with broccolini and olives with a glass of Albarino, and today it was roasted squab with new potatoes and candied carrots with a glass of Pinot Noir, and each time nothing had ever tasted so good.  The dishes were each a complex of layered taste, and the wine complimented it beautifully.  It was like a beautifully woven tapestry!  And yes this does relate to our topic today of gardening out of the soil.

How can we garden "out of the dirt" and how can we garden in January?

One of the reasons my meal experiences were so transporting the past couple of days (other than the fact that our chef is amazing and the food is always *FANTASTIC*) was The Anticipation Factor.  Having wanted to try the dishes for a while and finally having the opportunity.  The sense of reward - a delicious meal not just to feed my body today but also as indicative of having earned this new position.  Wanting something for a while, thinking about it, fantasizing even, planning for it, working for it, and then HAVING IT.

Do you see where I'm going?  The number one way you can be gardening at this time of the year is to be planning the garden you will plant this spring.  What will you grow?  How will your plot of land take shape?  Where will your various plants find their homes?  

If you're not sure where to start, I encourage you to organize the seeds that you have on hand.  What do you have, what do you need, are they being stored correctly (somewhere cool, dry, and dark)?  If you don't have seeds or need more, where will you buy them from?  This is the time to start researching vendors, prices, varietals, etc.

Do you garden with others?  Maybe your family members garden with you, or you have friends/neighbors in your community garden plot, or a garden club (formal or not)?  This is also a great time ]to meet with those people (formally or not) to talk about their needs and plans for gardening this season.  Before you get your heart and mind set on something that may not work for your teammates, get their input.  It's also a good time to share thoughts with each other about what worked or didn't last season and why, to give and take advice and input.

A third consideration for your garden planning is possibly rotating your "crops" or plants.  Different plants deplete the soil in different ways, which means that growing the same thing in the same place year after year will eventually lead to that plant being less and less vigorous each growing season.  You can keep your soil healthy and your plants lush and vibrant by moving them around into different places each year, making rotation another really important part of the planning process.

Speaking of soil, when was the last time you had yours tested?  It's a great idea to test each year, especially if your'e planning to plant something you haven't grown before, but if it's been more than three years (or never!) since you had it tested - it's definitely time.  Unfamiliar with soil testing?  Your local Master Gardeners can help!  Google "master gardeners" and your state name, and you should quickly find a link to at least one chapter in your area, and the fine and friendly folks who respond to that email or answer that phone should be able to help (for free!).  We definitely recommend the mail-in kits (as opposed to something you would buy somewhere like Lowe's and then try to do at home) - they get sent to a professional testing lab, typically at a university with an agriculture program in your state and the results are emailed to you, for a fee of usually between $10 and $20.  The instructions are clear, and you don't need to send in very much soil to get accurate results.  Plus Master Gardeners are available to answer any questions you have about the process!  (And, no, we have no financial interest in soil tests- they are just the most reliable :))  What can you do with the results?  The report will include very specific information on what fertilizers and other amendments YOUR soil needs.  January is a great time to do this (provided your soil is not frozen!), so you can factor these needs into your planning.  Your soil is the single most important determinant of the success of your garden, and it is not all the same, so get it right!!!  Feel free to reach out if you need more info about soil testing.

Finally - start sketching out your garden.  Once you've taken stock of what seeds you have on hand, what you want to grow this year, where you're going to grow it, what fertilizers and amendments you will need to make that happen (and whether that information changes your plans in any way), and the input of the other people involved, sit down with a piece of paper and pencil and start to draw it out.  This can be as detailed oriented and to scale as you like (graph paper and a ruler, ideally an architect's scale, will be needed, as well as precise information about your piece of land), or as casual as a freehand drawing on a piece of notebook paper.  Whatever works for you.  And you can always tighten or loosen the drawing up as planting time approaches.  However you decide to approach the project, put pencil (it's erasable!) to paper and start to plan and dream about what will be where at the height of growing season.

Other Gardening Activities This Week

This definitely doesn't sound very "garden-y", but today and tomorrow are also great days to bake.  You can make something complex from scratch or put something together from chilled dough or a boxed mix.  It doesn't matter.  We are in a time of year for staying inside, keeping warm, nesting.  What goes better with that mood than something freshly baked?:)  How is this possibly related to gardening?  When we garden, we work with mother nature, we flow with the seasons.  Don't fight the season - flow with it.  Bake something today or tomorrow and dream about your garden while you do.

Another activity for any day this week is cutting firewood.  Want to be outside, want to be working with plants?  If you have trees and branches that you felled in the fall, take some time over any (or all!) days over the next week, to cut and stack your firewood.  Not a firewood cutting kind of gal or guy?  What about going out to buy firewood or having some delivered this week?  It's that time of year!  If you have a fireplace, I definitely recommend having a fire pretty much every day this week.  Doesn't matter if it's not "cold enough" out.  Same points as above - it's the season we are in, go for it!  Don't have a fireplace?  I get it - me either right now, and it's a bummer.  How about lighting a candle or two at home, especially one that is wood scented (pine, cedar, sandalwood, they even have ones scented to smell like campfire!)?

The Anticipation Factor

Settle in to January, folks.  It's a time of year for nesting and planning.  Invest in the planning now, and, come planting and growing season, enjoyment of your garden will be that much more delicious :)

Organizing the Situation

(Amanda Gordon on the Potomac River in 2018)

Greetings from Alexandria, VA.  This is home and it is beautiful. Although we have a thriving commercial and tourist district, many parts, including my home, are super nice and quiet.  And many professional organizers within just a mile. 

I have been working with professional organizers for more than 10 years. For the past three years, I have had my own professional organizing business with clients all over Northern Virginia. I have also studied professional organizing, gaining almost 40 hours of intense practice, enlightening philosophy, and delightful community. My experience of hiring professional organizers for myself has been very different. I seriously value my time – especially the precious time I devote to organizing, design, and productivity practices. In working with other professional organizers, I have missed the intimacy of community, respect, and paying attention to feelings that I like to bring to my clients.

This year, I will begin the process of becoming a Certified Professional Organizer with the National Association of Professional Organizers.  Finally after many years of organizing, I can put the little CPO after my name. Sounds funny.  Tee Hee!

I am on a mission to start an organizing community here. A group of good folks navigating their home and work spaces with joy and efficiency.  Its' BOUND to happen here.  INTENTION OF THE MIND.  ACTION OF THE BODY.

Each Wednesday this year, I will offer you some simple steps you can take to work on organizing your home.  They will help you, step by step, in manageable ways, stop seeing the clutter in your house and stop wasting time looking for items.  I also will invite you each week to adopt a new habit that will help you STAY organized, so you really feel like you are making progress and are not Sisyphus pushing that heavy organizing stone up the hill every time you turn around.  Finally (although not necessarily in this order), I will also offer you a home design tip each week, so your home will become more the beautiful oasis you need and want it to be!

OK - let's get started with organizing your life in 2020 - week one!!!

Organizing Activities For You - Week One
If you have set an intention/made a resolution of better organizing your home and life in 2020, congratulations!!!   

There are many steps you can take on your own, but I know it can be overwhelming thinking about where to start.  Fear not!

We all want to feel balanced, especially at home.  If you're like most people, certainly most Americans, you have piles of dirty laundry in one or more rooms, a sink full of dirty dishes, and at least one unmade bed at any time.  Trust me - this is true.  I have spent a lot of time in a lot of clients' homes.  Even the people who look the most put-together often are living in disaster.  Those homes that always look picture perfect when you're over?  MANY of them look that way as the result of a week of frantic activity, involving multiple hired professionals, leading up to that dinner party/holiday celebration, and you likely would be shocked to discover the state of things behind the closed doors your hosts have asked you not to open.  Trust me - I am often one of the professionals working on these homes!  Sadly, this is how many of us now live.  And when we want to fix our own homes, all these projects call for attention, and we don't know where to start.  

One principle I'd like you to keep in mind is the word BALANCE.  I am not here to try to create a perfect home for you, and please don't be under the illusion that if you have a perfect home (or a perfect body, for that matter), you will suddenly have a perfect life.  A LOT of people achieve that "perfection" and sacrifice their wellness and balance in the process.  Then maintaining that "perfection" requires an incredible amount of time and energy (and often money), leaving them with little to none leftover to, for example, feed their marriage and other relationships, get enough sleep, be able to be in the present moment, etc.  So we are not going for perfection in our organizing projects - we are going for BALANCE.

Steps This Week

1.  Let's start with the entryway, as this is the first area you and others see when coming home. (And, yes, even though guests don't usually see it, this project includes the hall closet :)).

2.  Think of your entryway as setting the tone for your home.  It is the first area you see.  We want the tone here to be clean, welcoming, clutter-free, warm, and inviting.  Keep those words in mind as you go.

3.  Pick one day this week that will be your day to work on decluttering.  Just one.  That's all you need.  What day this week will you work on this project?  Not all day - don't worry!  Pick one day that you will commit to spending 30 minutes on organizing this week.

4.  Get together the supplies you will need, which are basically just, for now, trash bags and some big cardboard boxes (maybe you have some leftover from Christmas?  If not, most storage places sell them and they are not terribly expensive.  Be sure to get some packing tape and scissors so you can put them together), and some sharpies.

Entryway

Again, this is the first part of the house you, your family, and guests see.  When you unclutter this area, I guarantee you will begin to love its look :)  You live in your entryway as much as in any other space in your home.  And when it is well-organized, it will make your life easier.  

Our mantra for this area is: USE IT OR LOSE IT.  Things in this area that you use in this area need a home, and things that you don't use in this area need to go live somewhere else.  That is the truth.  What are the only essentials you need in this area?  Make a home for them.  (Hint: this is the overall rule we will apply throughout our year of organizing).  

Not sure exactly how to make this happen or where to even start?  That's perfectly normal and also totally okay.  Just take one day this week, set your timer for 30 minutes (maybe put on your favorite playlist during this time?), get your supplies together and start somewhere.  Do your best.  When the timer goes off, you're done!  (Just be sure you can still get safely in and out the actual home entrance :))

Need something more concrete to work with?  OK, do you have kids?  Can you create some toy bins (even if they're just cardboard boxes) with labels (even if it's just your writing in sharpie)?  Boxes and sharpies are probably not the long-time look you want for your home, but if you're holding out for the budget for those $3000 custom toy boxes, is it good and balanced for you to live in chaos until then?:)  OK, so organize into what you've got on hand now.  They will not magically make your home perfectly clean at all times - they WILL make it less painful to pick up each evening before going to bed.  (Yes, organizing your home will involve daily effort - more on that in a minute :))  We are looking for ways to make your entryway a little more neat right now.  These are the same principles we will apply to the living room, bedroom, guest room, kids' rooms, closets, bathrooms, etc. as we move through the year.

No kids?  Create the bins with labels for what you do see in the foyer (pet toys, shoes, umbrellas, mail, recycling items, etc.).

Extra Credit

1.  If you have the time or the budget, I encourage you to create a clean slate in the entryway.  Emphasis on the word CLEAN.  This will involve taking EVERYTHING out of the space and having it scrubbed down (literally from top to bottom - crown molding and lighting fixtures down to the floors, including scrubbing the grout between the tiles).  Wipe down the inside and outside of the door, wipe off all moldings/baseboards/chair rails, disinfect knobs and locks, and wash the mirrors and windows.  I recommend hiring a professional cleaning service to do this - remember we are going for BALANCE here, not super person status :)

2.  Do you have the right furniture in the foyer?  How do you feel/what do you think about what you have there now?  If you don't have room for furniture in your foyer, or perceive that space as less cluttered without furniture, what about the hall closet?  Could you purchase some easy closet organizing items or hire a closet organizing service to make this space more useful for you than just a clothing rail and shelf?  Would it make more sense in your home to put a piece of organizing furniture not in the foyer itself but rather in another hallway near the entrance?  Tip: a dresser or some small end tables work great, if another item is not in the budget/plan right now.  Remember - this does not have to be the final House Beautiful solution - just something to restore some sanity and balance for now.

3.  What about the rug/floor covering?  Is it clean or are there stains?  Is it your style?  Is it fraying?  Each year, whatever you have on the floor here will need attention.  Your choices are (a) deep clean it, (b) replace it, or (c) clean and store it and replace it with an alternate one each season.  Which will it be this year?

4.  Finally, even if the organizing part of the foyer isn't done, you can still decorate this area.  Remember that what you are looking for here in terms of tone is WELCOMING.  What small touches in this area would feel welcoming to you (maybe a plant or fresh flowers)?

Week One - Decorating/Design Tip

I've talked a bit above about "interim" organizing solutions, and I firmly believe in them, but most of us don't want to live with "brown cardboard" as our main design theme!  You don't need to hire a professional decorator or buy an entire home out of an expensive catalog - YOU can make your home more beautiful, day by day, week by week, and I'm excited to offer you tips on how to!

My tip of the week this week is DIY.  Don't panic.  I'm not talking about watching HGTV and trying to suspend a 4-poster bed from the ceiling or taking a sledgehammer to a inconvenient wall and hope it works out for you the way it always does for Chip Gaines.  In fact, my first piece of advice on what and how to DIY is to avoid anything that intimidates you.  We all have different budgets and different levels of comfort regarding handiwork, so only you can answer what you're comfortable with and what not.  Don't do something that scares you or seems super expensive or that you're worried might create damage you can't fix.  What I mostly want to encourage you this week is not to think that you're completely helpless and hopeless when it comes to design.  You're not!  I'm going to offer some ideas here for things you could do at home all by yourself (particularly, although not necessarily limited to, the foyer, since that is our area of focus now). 

1.  Buy some chalkboard paint and paint yourself a chalkboard.  You'll need some blue painters tape to tape off the chalkboard area, a ruler and level to make the area neat, and one or two brushes (all should be available at Home Depot or someplace similar).  That's it!  You could also buy some white paint to make an outline around your new chalkboard, but that's not needed.  And hey?  If you can't make a perfect rectangle, that's okay too!  Make the uneven edges part of your design!  The chalkboard paint goes on and dries just like regular paint, and it's magnetic.  So grab some white chalk for notes or shopping lists and some magnets (what about pretty magnets that look like little plants?), and you've got a nice little organizing area without adding the expense or bulk of furniture.  (These items also should be available at Home Depot and/or Michael's or another craft store, and you don't need to buy a special eraser - a damp paper towel will do just fine.)  Don't like this idea for your foyer?  Keep it in your back pocket for your kitchen and/or kids' rooms ;)

2.  Go to the Dollar store and pick up some glass jars.  Take them home and spray paint them (outside or in a well-ventilated area, please) and, when dry, stick vinyl letters on them to label what they will hold (paint and letters available from Michael's).  Once again, the letters don't go on perfectly straight?  Make that part of the charm - make it intentional!  If you've got your own glass jars lying around at home, so much the better!  Don't like this idea for the foyer?  What about for organizing your crafting supplies?

3.  What's your idea?  Either of those above inspire a thought for you?  I'm all about projects that cost less than $20 (including any needed equipment) and no more than 45 minutes.  Feel free to leave your favorites in the comments!

Week One - Daily Organizing/Cleaning Habit

In order to maintain your newly organized and beautified home, you are going to need to spend time on a regular basis to keep it looking fresh.

This week, I invite you to cultivate the habit of 5 minutes each week going through your mail and magazines.  These tend to accumulate in our foyer area, which is why I picked this habit to coincide with this week's projects.

Here's what I'd like you to do: Put aside 3 boxes (or good-sized brown grocery store bags) and designate each: (1) TOSS, (2) READ, (3) KEEP/FILE.  Then sit down with your accumulated mail, magazines, junk mail, etc. in your foyer (or living room, kitchen counter, dining room table, wherever) and sort.  Set the timer for 5 minutes and sort until timer goes off.  Then you're done!  

A couple of notes:

* TOSS bag is just what it says.  This is junk, stuff you don't need to keep for any reason whatsoever.

* KEEP/FILE are things you need to hold onto, such as perhaps a document related to your taxes for last or this year, communications from your doctor or other health provider, car maintenance records, etc.  We will talk later this year about what you need to keep and how to file it.  For now, just put in this bag anything you think you need to hold onto but don't need to take action on right now.

* READ is basically everything else.  For example, Christmas cards/letters to read, alumni/ae magazines you like to flip through, an invoice you need to pay, etc.  Your'e not DOING these things now - you're putting these things in one place so that you can deal with them later.  Find something time-sensitive?  Pull it out and deal with it TODAY, or, at the very least, create a fourth URGENT bag and then be very careful about what you put in there - those are very special things that are not READING material and require immediate action.

Too much, too overwhelming?  Start today with 1 minute (including the setting up of the boxes/bags).  Tomorrow go for 2 minutes.  The next day 3, and so on, until you reach 5.  5 minutes is the max time you should spend on this each day.  Even if you have a MOUNTAIN of unsorted mail, 5 minutes a day will get you there.  I strongly believe in 5 minutes a day, because we are cultivating a HABIT, not a one-off project.  The habit of doing this for 5 minutes each day is what will prevent the mail from becoming a mail mountain in the future.  It's 5 minutes a day of loving yourself, your family, and your home enough to care for them on an ongoing basis.  One of the things that is great about this project is you can do it sitting down!  On your butt on the floor, listening to favorite music, or on the couch, watching guilty pleasure TV, or on your bed, while talking on the phone with your bestie.  Your choice - just make it a DAILY HABIT.

When one of the bags is full, deal with it.  JUNK bag full?  Take it to recycling or trash.  The time to do that counts as part of your 5 min!  READ bag full?  Start reading/processing that mail!  That time counts in your 5 min!  Don't want to read now?  Move that bag into your living room or bedroom or wherever you normally would read it, open a new READ bag, and keep sorting.  Also, guess what happens to that mail after you've read/dealt with it?  That's right - it goes into the TOSS or KEEP bag (no other choices).  KEEP/FILE bag full?  Guess what I'm going to suggest you do?:)  Or, if you're not up for it, or don't have a system, move the bag into your office for future filing (which I promise, again, we will discuss later this year).  

There's one more piece to this puzzle: however big your current pile of accumulated mail is, you MUST spend part of your 5 min each day dealing with the NEW mail coming into your home.  You actually do that first, and THEN turn to the collected pile.  That's another reason I recommend keeping these bags in your foyer.  Going forward, you will sort the mail AS IT COMES IN.  It actually won't even make it past your foyer into your home!  It will be sorted into one of the bags IMMEDIATELY upon arrival.  And, yes, that time counts as part of your 5 minutes?

Remember: this is a DAILY HABIT we are cultivating.  Eventually, you won't have accumulated mail - you'll only be dealing with new mail as it comes in, and then processing those bags when they're full (or, at the next level, BEFORE they're full - maybe on a weekly or even daily basis!)  But don't worry about that right now - work on cultivating the HABIT of 5 minutes each day sorting and then processing new mail and accumulated mail.  NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES A DAY.  Make it easy, and it's more likely you'll do it.  You will be surprised how much progress can be made in 5 minutes each day.  Not sure about that?  Then let's make a deal.  Spend 5 minutes doing it each day this week, and let's see where you are next Wednesday :)

Sending you organized and BALANCED wishes for the New Year!  We will chat again tomorrow.